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profile the girl next door Liza *u* profiles on blogs bore me. there's a reason why facebook was invented. Facebook / Hotmail / Twitter

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Everything I knew just went out the window
Know I can't depend on you - forever
And I never thought I'd see
My life walk away from me
I thought we'd always be - together

Notice you didn't have to pay
For every word I say
And I wish I could change your decision
And you know that I try
And tell you what it's like
But you just wouldn't listen

Lets go back, lets rewind to the days that remind me
of all the good times that we spent together
And I don't know why we just let it all slide
When we both knew inside we were right for each other

I don't know what to do
Cos you're everything that I knew

Everything's the same
It's like tomorrow never came
We used to talk about - whatever
And the seasons never change
We never used to act our age, everytime we were - together

How can you just walk out of my life
Without even giving a reason
How could you look so good
The day I watched you leave

Phew, glad we got that out of our system. Now we can discuss about less vulgar matters.

Screw that. My week's been like shit. Hands down, the worst week ever. Like I said before, it's the little things that piss me off. Ughhh. I hate having an unreactive metal heart.

In other news, had a loverly talk with Shannen last night. Hahaha. I now feel frikkin ridiculous and weird and paranoid and crazy. I probably am. Hahaha. Oh well. I don't know. Ughhh.

I miss those days. ): 4 hours of piano. Coffeebean. My long, pretty fringe. Late-night study sessions. Long walks. No awkwardness. What happened? I would like to know. I just want a reason. Hmm, I just have to keep reminding myself that God has His reasons.

Okay, finally in less vulgar matters, not that there's actually any... Crap, I actually can't think of any. OHOH! Trudy and I won 1 out of 2 doubles matches against the Japanese School. We were hyped up for the last match, but there wasn't enough time. Cheat our feelings. For the record, we gave them chance okay! Cos we thought there was a 3rd match! Hehehe. Hmm, then I got 14/25 for the social studies test which is amazing, since I always flunk my humanities tests. 32/50 for the e maths test, which is also amazing cos I never really bothered to listen to the teacher when she was teaching this topic. Went to weijie's place yesterday. Awesome cos I finally got to play mahjong! I can still remember how to play! Hahaha. I just have to remember what characters/pictures mean what. Haha. So yeah, those are pretty much the "highlights" of my week. The rest that happened are pretty shitty and would take me weeks to list out.

In a more usual-liza-who-is-on-drugs-hyperness,



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I guess all the "love" has already been used up eh?

Yesterday, I made a list of things that made my day super incredibly horrible.

#1. My bag is fucking heavy. It's not just frikkin heavy, it's fucking heavy.
#2. The only reason why I am how I am in school, apparently I'm extremely cheerful happy and high according to my form teacher, is no longer there.
#3. I'm extremely tired.
#4. they didn't put me on frisbee for sports day. They put me on fucking javelin. If I could throw, I don't mind la. But I seriously cannot throw properly to save my life
#5. I had to go for my ex-teacher's, someone I ultimately dislike like there's no tomorrow, class.

It's the little things that piss me off. Bitch about me behind my back, not a big problem, but little things like these irritate the hell out of me.

One thing I love when I'm, in lack of a better word, emo-ing is that people don't know how to react. I've probably mentioned that a million times before, but it never fails to amuse me. For other people, even close friends, it's quite unnatural for them to see me sitting in a corner just fidgeting with my phone instead of usually yapping the day away, laughing at the lamest things. But ugh, it has been happening more and more recently, and the sense of amusement is wearing off.

So here I am, in the middle of the night, sitting in the dark hallway (it sounds like our hallway is huge, but it really isn't) complaining to a notes app on my phone about what a horrible and cruel world I live in. A couple of readers would probably go, oh shut up and suck it. I'd say that if I saw another loser writing this crap on their blog too, but oh well. We all need to let it out somehow and I never really liked to get personal, so let's feed the mindless trolls of the interwebz instead.

I hate the silence. I hate it with a burning passion. "You say it best when you say nothing at all"? RUBBISH. Got something to say, then say la! Anyway, hahahaha, I didn't mean that kind of silence. I meant the alone kind. I hate travelling without music. I hate taking ages to fall asleep without texting or watching a video. I constantly have to be doing something or else, I'll just be thinking all the time. And I don't like thinking. I have, what you might say, a hyperactive mind. Give it a couple of minutes of silence, it could already formulate at least 5 ways to kill a person I dislike or relive my entire day and figure out every little bit I should and should not have done. And I hate it. It makes me feel like a wimp that I could imagine all these things, but not do it. You know what I mean? If you don't, I've got no other way to put it.

As I lie here, sprawled across the middle of the hallway (it'd be damn funny if I wrote that as highway hahaha), I've already thought of why. At least 7 reasons why I currently hate school. At least 6 reasons why I despise some of my "friends" right now. At least 5 reasons why God would want to do these to me. At least 4 reasons why I should stop going to school. At least 3 reasons why I should be going to school. At least 2 reasons why I shouldn't tell him. Only 1 reason that I should. The last parts probably didn't make sense, but oh well. Hyperactive mind.

Oh well, every cloud has a silver lining.



I just have to look hard for it now.

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I tried to be chill, but you're so hot that I melted

I'm really supposed to be studying for the social studies test right now, but I'm taking a well-deserved break. I did make that super awesome mindmap that I really didn't have to do, but did anyway for revision. See, I'm studying and I'm commited. I so deserve to play LAN since I'm being all "guai kia", studying for tests and everything.

In other news, my request has yet to be fulfilled. I sit and whisper, "why, God, why?" and proceed to mope around not hearing a reply. Why, God, why? I know that I'm not in a position to question your work, or what you let happen, but why? I can't help looking back and analyzing every little bit that happened and say to myself "nothing wrong there". How could things have changed so fast? Does this mean that in a matter of weeks, I'd have to start getting used to another... way of life, if you will, like how I did a few weeks ago? I sure hope not. I'm fine with how things are now and who I'm with, except for one, or maybe two little things that, with a snap of a finger, could blow up into these huge issues. I'm tired of pretending.

In less depressing matters, some things and one have made me pretty happy this week. I love how God turns a horrific incident into something you'll keep looking back and smile to. No matter how embarrassing things were, it made me smile like I haven't had in weeks. Thank you(:

I like you like you like you(:
Who, you ask? You'll never know.




Love is what makes you smile when you're tired. - Terri, age 4


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1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4

Give me more lovin' than I've ever had
Make it all better when I'm feelin' sad
Tell me that I'm special even when I know I'm not

Make me feel good when I hurt so bad
Barely gettin' mad, I'm so glad I found you
I love bein' around you
You make it easy, it's as easy as 1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4

There's only one thing to do
Three words for you I love you
There's only one way to say
Those three words and that's what I'll do, I love you

Give me more lovin' from the very start
Piece me back together when I fall apart
Tell me things you never even tell your closest friends

Make me feel good when I hurt so bad
Best that I've had, I'm so glad that I found you
I love bein' around you
You make it easy, it's as easy as 1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4

There's only one thing to do
Three words for you I love you
There's only one way to say
Those three words and that's what I'll do, I love you
I love you

You make it easy, it's easy as 1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4

There's only one thing to do
Three words for you I love you
There's only one way to say
Those three words and that's what I'll do, I love you
I love you

1, 2, 3, 4
I love you
I love you


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I, Liza Rae Ruedas, vow that from here on forward, I shall revise and do homework like shizz for o levels(excluding Saturdays, because those are off-days). I promise to AT THE VERY LEAST TRY to complete my homework on time, but will stop to sleep at 12am, unless revision for a common test is needed. I shall also try to concentrate at least 75% of the time during lessons, but there are no promises of not-texting in class. I also do not make any promises that I will stop being late for school, talking back to teachers, losing exercise books and the like. As you guys, whoever you are, are my witness, I shall give my bloody 75% this school year to achieve that bloody 10 points for L1R4 for O Levels starting...

Now.


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I love my dad's shirts and my new belts. And those red shorts. Haha.


Saving up for these babies. :D $100 eh, but I think it's worth it! :D


My geeky, yet awesome campmates. HAHAHAHA. :D you guys are loved:)

Just random photos I felt needed to be posted. :)

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Pretending I'm all right. I sleep all day cos I stay up all night. Don't tell me it's over.

Before it even started.

I am once again online on my phone typing away on my little blogger app even thought I have a laptop right in front of me. I don't see why people keep complaining about the iphone's keyboard. I have huge thumbs and I can type almost perfectly without even looking down. Okay, sorry I'm completely digressing. My point is, i'm not blogging on the laptop cos it's super laggy cos I'm watching supernews and converting my movies to put on my phone.

Why yes, I'm spending valentine's day/chinese new yearsitting in front of a laptop watching super random cartoons and downloading movies. And yeah, I just spent the past 30 minutes watching "I Hate Valentine's Day", digging the hard chocolate parts out of a tub of ice cream (I failed and gave up, putting the tub back in the fridge. It's God's saying it's not meant to be) and listening to dashboard confessional between Internet lags. Yes, Happy Singles' Awareness Day to you too. Haha. Nah, don't get me wrong. I'm not depressed about Valentine's Day, something pretty bad on this day that sucks and yeah, it sucks. I got blisters. Hmmph.






I got 2 carnations over the weekend :) I usually don't like flowers, scratch that. I don't like flowers at all, but haha. :) happy chinese new year :)

An issue has been popping a lot lately. I guess it could be a sensitive issue? I don't know, people seem to react different way when it comes up. Cliques. Ahhh, I've got so much to say, but no way to say it.

I like to think I have a lot of friends. That is, until I got extremely bored and it didn't seem right to text anyone. Know what I mean? I'm guessing not. Yeah, I have a pretty weird mind, I know. Who are my cliques? I'd like to think I'm not in a clique. Yeah, it goes hand-in-hand with my I-don't-believe-in-best-friends thing. Haha. I don't know why, I just happen to think that way.

Sigh, I don't know how to say what I want to say.




Let's just say a picture says a thousand words. I know, it's damn no-link. Hahaha. My mind's pretty screwed up right now.



The Morning Star, the Rising Sun. With You the best is yet to come.

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Okay, not really. It's at times like this when I look at how my life is right now and wish for the simpler times.

Say 'hello', to the O Levels year. These days, we're expected to study every single day, hand up all our homework in time, come for ccas and complete endless ten-year series and assessment books. Seriously, Singapore (and the rest of the world who does this shit)? We are teenagers who are, as you adults have said yourself, restless irresponsible and undisciplined brats. How the heck do you expect us to finish everything when we're busy having a life?

I have no point in this. Gah. It's probably because I just realized that I haven't left school before 4pm for weeks (Fridays don't count). To me, it's incredibly saddening that I'm wasting my youth inside this horrible fenced area learning things that I know I would never use in my entire life. It's depressing.

In other news, been listening a lot to maroon 5, parachute and the script. Infatuation, undercontrol and the end where I begin. Songs have been describing how I feel a lot lately. No words, just songs. Which doesn't really make sense, but blegh. That's just how I think.

To the two awesome people: I miss you. I miss you so bad. (slipped away - avril lavigne)


To an awesome person: whispers 'hello, I miss you quite terribly'. (here in your arms - hellogoodbye)

To quite a lot of people: don't wanna hate you, don't wanna fight you. Know I'll always love you, but right now I just don't like you. (which to bury, us, or the hatchet? - relient k)


To someone: here is the church and here is the steeple. We sure are cute for two ugly people. (anyone else but you - the moldy peaches)

It isn't just about the lyrics. It's the song itself. On the bus, I plug on my earphones and put my songs on shuffle and get quite high when I realize I can fit a song to my situation. I might just be really bored, but whatever. Don't judge me.

In more earth-ly topics, I finally got an iPhone, and I named it 'Stalin'. I have my reasons for naming my lovely phone a dictator, so don't judge me. For my own amusement, knowing you'll think I'm probably totally nuts (and I probably am) so I guess I've got nothing to lose, let me just say that one of the reasons cos I don't want to name it 'Adolf'. I'm naming my first kid that. So yeah. Oh, I bought Stalin clothes yesterday. Make that just clothe. :/ it's transparent. Hahahaha. I like the minimalistic design of the back cover of the iPhone. Next thing to buy for Stalin is LE earphones. They cost almost a hundred bucks so it's gonna be a while before I can get them. I'm horrible in saving money.

Okay, I'm starting to get sleepy. I'm thinking of crashing really early tonight. I'm pretty sure I'm gonna be super tired tomorrow, so it's like stocking up on energy. Haha.





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Got my baby 'Stalin' today. Thank you, Daddy, daddy(for 'spoiling' me again with such luxuries) and mummy(even though you're not here), and bros(who endured the long queue). :) you've always showered me with so much love, care and blessings that I seriously wouldn't know what to do without you, and I'm not even exagerrating. I love you.

We had youth service in church today. Ps Nick is super awesome. 'If Bob the builder can, then WE can!' *starts singing the Bob the builder theme song*. After service, teamed up with Shannen to play pool against Aaron and Bryan. We won cos Bryan shot in the white ball with the 8-ball. Taiko much. Haha. Lunched with dad and bros before picking up Stalin. Had a lot of things to about with dad. It was nice.:)

I'm taking a step of faith. And I know that I'm not perfect, but I'm taking a step of faith. Greater things have yet to be done in this city.


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